#TheBabylonBee

Brilliant Bee on ACB

Babylon Bee at its best. As ACB bats off ridiculous questions from Democrats with no notes at will, the Bee’s satire is a winner.

The main truth to come out of the Senate hearings is that the Democrats, true to form, are left to attack her faith and values because they have no leg to stand on re her credentials.

We thought Senator Cory Booker’s (D-NJ) question to ACB about whether she denounces white supremacy despite having adopted two black kids took some beating. What an idiot.

Sarcastic Bee

Bee at its best. Again, it’s satire is too close to reality.

WASHINGTON, D.C—President Donald Trump is once again under fire from the media for recklessly downplaying the danger of COVID by refusing to die. As the president begins to show signs of recovery, many worry that this sends the wrong message about the seriousness of the global pandemic. 

Every hour that he lives is another hour that the severity of this virus is undermined!” said reporter Sara Grace Major for CNN. “Why won’t he just DIE and show the American people how deadly this virus truly is?”

“Mr. President, are you sure you don’t need to lie down indefinitely or go on a ventilator?” asked another distraught journalist. “Maybe even say goodbye to your loved ones?!”

“Honestly, I feel terrific. Tremendous, really. I was never afraid of this virus before, but now I am even more not afraid. It’s sad, really. I was told this virus would be one tough cookie,“ Trump said to the press. “In fact, I’ve never felt better.”

“His defiance is going to get people killed. Dying like he’s supposed to would be the most patriotic thing he could do,” complained CNN correspondent Adam Pelot. “If he lives, how will the people be able to trust science?”

At publishing time, members of the press had begun pulling their own hair out as they watched the “incredibly strong and healthy” president go for a jog around the White House grounds.”

Fisher-Price launches “My First Peaceful Protest” playset

Satire site, The Babylon Bee took a dig at Antifa/BLM protestors with this:

“EAST AURORA, NY—The toy geniuses at Fisher-Price have announced a brand new toy made just for leftist parents and their kids: the My First Peaceful Protest playset. The kid-size clubhouse will come with several varieties of spray paint so kids can tag the tiny building with their own empowering slogans. It will also be made out of cardboard, allowing the cute little tikes to burn the whole thing down if their demands are not met.

Here at Fisher-Price, we are steadfastly committed to social justice,” said toy designer Camden Flufferton. “We need to teach our kids what democracy looks like, and there’s no better example of democracy in action than violent vandalism and arson. We hope this new playset will serve as an inspiration for parents wanting to teach their kids how to threaten citizens with violence whenever their demands are not met.”

The set will also come with toy televisions, cell phones, jewelry, and clothing, allowing kids to simulate looting before they torch the entire set. The set will be available in stores for $399 because of capitalism.

Experts are questioning the wisdom of this move by Fisher-Price, mainly because people in the target market don’t typically have any kids. “We know we’ll probably only sell, like, 3 of these,” said Flufferton, “but selling them isn’t the point. We just need you to know we’re on the right side of history.”

Babylon Bee takes a swipe at Goodyear

Babylon Bee takes a swipe at Goodyear.

The parody site wrote,

Customers have lots of options for places to get tires for the other side of the car,” said Goodyear Chairman and CEO Rich Kramer. “It may not be popular, but we felt this was a stand we needed to take.”

The company’s exclusion applies to Service as well as Sales. Technicians may rotate the two tires on the driver’s side, but may not do any work on the other side of the vehicle.

Also, if you come in with four tires, Goodyear will scream and destroy your right-side tires, free of charge.”