#jamaica

If you’re going to do it then stop the damn subtlety

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What is the obsession Hollywood has of trying to either wipe history or work to overlay irrelevance to rewrite it? Quit the subtle overtones. Just explicitly state your intent and let the free market box office judge it. When it comes to factual recreations like Dunkirk what is the point of wailing there were not enough people of colour in it when history shows us 99% of those that served were white? What does this achieve? Why not complain that 50% of the cast weren’t women waiting for the boats in the film? Probably because 99.9% on Dunkirk were men.

The latest Star Wars film was all about social justice, equality and identity. It has been a flop. Why can’t we just see a movie with lasers and goodies vs baddies? Should we fear alienating the LGBT Ewok community? Perhaps the sand people are really misunderstood minorities not terrorists? Shouldn’t Jabba the Hut seek compensation for decades of fat shaming? It is insane. Funnily enough when studying the box office takings we don’t need to look far to see the winners of the “Best Picture” selected by Hollywood in recent times have far undershot records. $100m box offices were a cert for an Oscar Best Picture award til 2004 after which it has been hit and miss since. 9 films in the last 13 have failed to breach $75mn. So instead of Hollywood being so preoccupied with espousing politics, perhaps it should look to the audience it ‘preaches’ to and starts ‘reaching’ them instead.

These are the Oscar stats. A 40% decline in viewers over 5 years. Is this a sign of a format that is no longer sustainable? Is the disintermediation/disruption caused by video on demand such that making a ‘date’ to go to the cinema is no longer a priority? Cinema attendance in the domestic US market is back at 1993 levels. In the 1990s Hollywood made 400-500 films annually. It now pumps out more than 700. The average revenue per film continues to head south.

So Man on the Moon depicts the story of Neil Armstrong. The film leaves out the historic and defining moment of planting the flag (a sign of American exceptionalism) some 50 years ago in beating arch enemy Russia in the space race. In 1969, had a straw poll of Americans (and much of the world) been taken at that moment it would have undoubtedly reflected unbridled pride in achievement. Many around the world must have looked at America in awe. What on earth is wrong with that? It was a stunning achievement and feat of ingenuity, science and invention.

Canadian actor Ryan Gosling, who plays Armstrong, said the moon landing “transcended countries and borders.” To a degree he is right. The world stood still on that day. Walter Cronkite had tears in his eyes. Yert should Jamaicans feel guilty that Usain Bolt won the 100m & 200m finals in three consecutive Olympics? There is no doubt the world looked in awe of him grinning with shoelaces untied as he jogged to the finish line. Yet for Jamaicans it was an extra dollop of pride. Great!

However Gosling’s defence of leaving out the flag scene was to cast aspersions on America. It is part of this new breed of Hollywood loathing of everything good. Where globalism trumps national pride. If the producers of this film hate America so much why not make the movie about a conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked? Alternatively make Armstrong a disabled, black, transgender Muslim to ensure enough PC boxes are ticked to please the apparatchiks?

CM only requests Hollywood quits with subtle jabs at success and openly embraces its quest for shared misery and the rewriting of history. Only then will they see their box office numbers judge their stupidity. Grow up! Understand that pride in one’s country, flag, job, study or whatever else is to be encouraged. We need more of it not Hollywood’s obsession with oppression.

Naked chef faces naked stupidity

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CM is not a great fan of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver. He was the one threatening to leave the UK if citizens voted ‘leave the EU’ in the Brexit referendum. (Un)fortunately for most liberally minded celebrities who lay down ultimatums to their adoring fans, they ignored him and he’s still here. Hypocrisy anyone? However CM will defend him against left wing lunatics accusing him of cultural appropriation in the kitchen.

It’s probably harder to believe than making ‘punchy jerk rice’ but a UK Labour MP Dawn Butler said that Jamie Oliver must stop the cultural appropriation of Jamaica. The shadow minister for women and equalities, wrote,

I’m just wondering do you know what #Jamaican #jerk actually is? It’s not just a word you put before stuff to sell products… Your jerk rice is not OK. This appropriation from Jamaica needs to stop.

Factually we could say Jamie Oliver has culturally appropriated the Italians, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese and a whole host of other nations’ with respect to their cuisine. Perhaps he should be forced to pay any monies gained from his success back to the countries he lifted these dishes from. Perhaps anyone who has bought his books should be hauled via drive thru kangaroo courts and summarily executed for brazen bigotry in the kitchen. Why not enforce state officials to monitor parents to ensure their children don’t develop a liking to culturally inappropriate dishes.

The Spectator wrote about other ridiculous events where evil whites plotted to allow people to judge for themselves whether they wanted to dine and consume their products.

Last year a burrito van in Portland was forced out of business after activists accused its two white owners of ‘stealing’ their recipes from Mexico. Soon afterwards, a list was circulated of similarly inadmissible behaviour entitled ‘(Alternatives to) White-Owned Appropriative Restaurants in Portland’. It named and shamed dozens of establishments and included suggestions of more acceptable places owned by ‘people of colour’. In February, the firm that runs the canteen at New York University sacked two white working-class men after they devised an African-American menu to celebrate Black History Month that was deemed ‘racially insensitive’ by a middle-class black student.

This politically correct nonsense needs to stop. Surely individuals can decide from themselves whether they can literally stomach a chef’s cuisine without him or her declaring white privilege before serving. Honestly how many actually care about this absurd nonsense? Probably less than 0.1% might get triggered.

Sure, one could argue that a Japanese chef adds authenticity at a sushi counter as does an Australian burning sausages on a BBQ. However when politicians think serving up such utter stupidity to constituents somehow creates value they only prove just how a lack of intelligence is completely inedible in any culture.

Given the current malaise in politics around the world is it fair to say there are more important fish to fry than accusing chefs of culinary expression.

N.B. CM would like to apologise if any kangaroos were offended by the misappropriation of their species in this article, including wallabies or any other animals identifying as kangaroos.