Babylon Bee at its best. As ACB bats off ridiculous questions from Democrats with no notes at will, the Bee’s satire is a winner.
The main truth to come out of the Senate hearings is that the Democrats, true to form, are left to attack her faith and values because they have no leg to stand on re her credentials.
We thought Senator Cory Booker’s (D-NJ) question to ACB about whether she denounces white supremacy despite having adopted two black kids took some beating. What an idiot.
Bee at its best. Again, it’s satire is too close to reality.
“WASHINGTON, D.C—President Donald Trump is once again under fire from the media for recklessly downplaying the danger of COVID by refusing to die. As the president begins to show signs of recovery, many worry that this sends the wrong message about the seriousness of the global pandemic.
Every hour that he lives is another hour that the severity of this virus is undermined!” said reporter Sara Grace Major for CNN. “Why won’t he just DIE and show the American people how deadly this virus truly is?”
“Mr. President, are you sure you don’t need to lie down indefinitely or go on a ventilator?” asked another distraught journalist. “Maybe even say goodbye to your loved ones?!”
“Honestly, I feel terrific. Tremendous, really. I was never afraid of this virus before, but now I am even more not afraid. It’s sad, really. I was told this virus would be one tough cookie,“ Trump said to the press. “In fact, I’ve never felt better.”
“His defiance is going to get people killed. Dying like he’s supposed to would be the most patriotic thing he could do,” complained CNN correspondent Adam Pelot. “If he lives, how will the people be able to trust science?”
At publishing time, members of the press had begun pulling their own hair out as they watched the “incredibly strong and healthy” president go for a jog around the White House grounds.”
When Albert Einstein met Charlie Chaplin in 1931, Einstein said, “What I admire most about your art is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet the world understands you.”
“It’s true.” Replied Chaplin, “But your fame is even greater. The world admires you, when no one understands you.”
Parody website Babylon Bee posted this today:
“After over 100 years of selling its caramel popcorn snack under the name Cracker Jack, Frito-Lay announced today that it would be rebranded as the less offensive “Caucasian Jack.”
“We are very sorry to all the crack—er, I mean, Caucasians we have hurt over the years,” said a spokesperson. “Cracker is an offensive stereotype, and we must make sure that all foods and snack products are culturally sensitive. Think about all the white people who have had to suffer in silence as tens of thousands of baseball fans sang out the hurtful lyrics ‘Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.'”
“No more. The bigotry stops today.”
Who said there wasn’t truth in fiction?
Most of us have had to contend with Zoom meetings during coronavirus to replace the real thing. Some partners are keen to have their better halves noticed. This chap wears a different costume each Zoom meeting. Fair play.
Good to see the Japanese have a sense of humour. One smart entrepreneur has decided to make suitcase stickers which say “Ghosn is not inside.”
Conservative comes out.