#fauxoutrage

Truth in fiction

Babylon Bee strikes again.

“MENLO PARK, CA—A new nonprofit organization is teaming up with app developers to help people of colour find and adopt white liberals to speak for them. The program is called Adopt A Voice and will help people of black and brown descent express what they truly desire, think, and mean to say.

I signed up for it,” said African American Bradley Trent from Columbus, Ohio. “They paired me up with a 37-year-old white girl named Claire who claims to be bisexual but as far as I can tell she just really likes cats.

When asked what his opinion of the program was, Claire responded on Bradley’s behalf, “Bradley is just so grateful to have his voice heard especially on key issues like women’s right to choose, climate change, and especially trans issues.”

Bradley later commented, “I had no idea that’s what I meant to say. Amazing.

At Adopt a Voice we know that speaking and thinking for yourself can be challenging. We have a huge team of interpreters who know exactly what ethnic minorities are really thinking, what they really want, and what they really mean to say,” said program director Eve Zohar. “We know that every person of colour will thank us for what we say on their behalf, and if they don’t they hate themselves.”

Self-imposed slavery on the sporting field?

We couldn’t help but notice the kneeling across global sporting codes over the weekend. In Australia, players of the AFL and NRL codes all took the knee. No one stood.

The football leagues across Europe did the same thing.

Have we just witnessed acts of modern day slavery?

No, we are not trying to draw an equivalence to those that suffered at the hands of real slavery more than a century ago. Let’s be absolutely clear.

However it is not hard to see capitulating to the mob by surrendering constitutional rights out of a fear of exercising them as a reflection of the bleak dystopian future that is rapidly approaching.

We can be absolutely sure that failure to publicly submit to causes like BLM will lead to vilification and worse. Best to fall in line (literally) to avoid being attacked and face the inevitable backlash from the verbally violent apparatchiks on Twitter.

Is it fair to assume that every player believed in the cause of kneeling for BLM? Or were some pressured to do so? Did they feel their contracts might come under threat for non compliance?

Worry they might. LA Galaxy star Aleksandar Katai was recently sacked for something his wife tweeted about BLM without his knowledge. Career over. Shouldn’t the incendiary tweets of a spouse live and die there? Should companies have the power to sack us for the free speech exercised by our own husbands or wives in their own time?

Do employers have rights to enforce behaviors of employees completely unrelated to their jobs especially if not bound by legal contracts?

Did woke sponsors threaten to withdraw support if they didn’t make the virtue signaling gesture? Or did the same sponsors fear secondary boycotts and demand players got on message? Will players and officials kneel at every match from now on?

Are police officers – who attend every sporting match for player and fan security – so in need of being vilified each game for things the overwhelming majority haven’t committed?

Let’s not forget the long list of disgraceful crimes committed by many sports celebrities including rape, murders, shootings, animal cruelty, prostitution rings, assault, robbery, illegal gun possession, DUI and resisting arrest to name a few. Are these the types of role models the sports bodies think should lecture the rest of us?

We don’t doubt that most players believe in the lives of black (and all) people but was there any resistance in the locker room beforehand? Did they fear an Israel Folau style social media lynch mob which might drag their own family members in the line of fire for failing to fall to their knees?

The NFL in America marks the next step for the rest of the world’s sporting codes.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell made a woefully cringeworthy and cowardly apology for ignoring the cause started by Colin Kaepernick, who will now get to name his price. Watch Goodell make him a race liaison for the NFL. Forget that Kaepernick was an average quarterback when he played. Just sign him ahead of far better players in order to avoid censure. A multi-year lucrative multi-million dollar participation trophy awaits.

Goodell said the NFL condemns systemic racism. Really? Who knew? Why would the NFL have to publicly announce the bleeding obvious? c.70% of NFL players are handsomely rewarded African Americans. Hardly a league guilty of oppressing minorities.

Goodell promised to spend $250 million over 10 years to combat systemic racism. Put that $25m yearly stipend against the $8bn in annual revenue, that is a token 0.31% of that. So it’s hardly a sum relative to the self loathing video made. Still it makes for good headlines. Will the NFL subsidize Kaep out of that sum?

Will fans be subject to a ditching of the flag and an end to the national anthem at the game? Will it be replaced by a minute’s silence where law abiding, open minded and tolerant citizens of all races are required to watch propaganda on police brutality broadcast on big screens to martial music before kick-off?

What is worse is that Goodell skipped over the fact that his fans more than likely already condemned police brutality well before his forced confession reminiscent of an ISIS hostage video.

Is Goodell’s memory so short? Don’t fans just want to unwind from the stresses of family, work and politics by watching their team play a great game?

The NFL might feel encouraged that it’s viewership may have made a tepid recovery from the lows of 2017 but it shouldn’t test the loyalty of fans this way. They don’t pay good money to be lectured over things they already repudiate.

The Australian Wallabies rugby union team is another franchise which succumbed to pandering to identity politics over serving the needs of paying customers. Self-inflicted wound. It will take decades to recover, if ever.

The AFL and NRL should watch their step too. Overplay politics at games where fans go to escape it and they might find they walk away leaving them where they are now – cardboard cutouts in the stands and canned crowds. Don’t mistake any bump in ratings as anything other than a short term COVID19 induced boredom escaping aberration.

To think if the players hadn’t submitted to bondage in the first place, they would have no need to get on their knees of their own volition and beg their ultimate paymasters for mercy.

DIY tips on decolonizing our bookshelves using tax dollars

Good to see that our own Australian government-funded ABC isn’t the only network that wastes taxpayer funds on pushing cultural Marxist narratives. NPR, a US taxpayer-subsidized media network, is offering its advice on encouraging whites to “decolonize their bookshelves.

We only hope the ABC doesn’t get ideas. We may have spoken too soon. It self-flagellated over the weekend over the lack of ‘cultural diversity’ on its Insiders program, especially as it had been discussing aboriginal deaths in custody.

We just wonder that after we’ve decolonized our bookshelves, should we continue to go a step further and ensure that there is a balanced representation of genders between the bookends. Surely any skew above 51% to male authors suggests unconscious toxic masculinity which should be purged at once. Will the wife’s Mills & Boon collection be deemed as too stereotypical of modern sexual orientation? As to the kid’s books? Well, NPR has told us that Dr. Seuss can be racist.

We have concluded that from tonight we will only watch films that support social justice, feminism and self-loathing, lest let Netflix profile the previously viewed titles as a reason to call us out to publicly apologize and atone for those socially unjust sins.

After we have done our DIY bookshelf purge, how will those supposedly oppressed by a bookshelf they cannot see, benefit? At this rate, we think taking a knee in front of a book BBQ and renouncing white privilege uploaded the video to Twitter ought to do it.

Mirror, mirror on the wall who has the fairest tweets of all

No sooner had the threats from Trump to change the legislation around social media platforms, Twitter doubled down on its fact checking.

In what looked far more like a quest to show it was impartial, Twitter decided to treat its users as idiots.

It fact checked a photo of Derek Chauvin, a now former Minneapolis police officer involved in the inexcusable death of George Floyd, for a doctored photo showing him wearing a red MAGA baseball cap. Does Twitter think people can’t work out a tasteless photoshop?

The other notable fact check was a tweet from Zhao Lijian, a spokesman for China’s foreign ministry who made the audacious claim that the coronavirus outbreak may have begun in the US and planted in China by the U.S. military.

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey took exception to comments made by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg who realized what may be coming. Facebook’s chief said,

I just believe strongly that Facebook shouldn’t be the arbiter of truth of everything that people say online.

Dorsey rebuffed these statements with,

[fact-checking] does not make us an ‘arbiter of truth’…Our intention is to connect the dots of conflicting statements and show the information in dispute so people can judge for themselves.”

Was Twitter to fairly dispense consistency and fact check the unverified rubbish inserted into many of the 500 million tweets made every day it couldn’t afford the hall monitoring costs.

The truth is simpler. If Twitter was forced by an independent ‘arbiter of truth’ to examine its own political bias in the mirror it would never seek to go down the path of fact-checking period.

Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy and Snow White should be free to exercise their own intellectual curiosity instead of letting the Wicked Witch of the Left try to influence their thought.

As we pointed out yesterday, when the head of Twitter’s integrity department has such glaringly questionable ethics is it any wonder that the rest of us don’t need to take a “byte” of his poisoned apples sold as Twitter magic.

Doubling down against Trump won’t make Twitter the fairest of them all. Not by half. Unless you believe in fairytales.

NB. Fact Not Fiction Media apologises for any harm caused to vertically challenged cartoon characters.

Bill Maher chews out triggered liberals over coronavirus

Liberal commentator Bill Maher slaps down the faux outrage mob on his side of the fence with this monologue.

Colonialism and Comcars

Image result for robert menzies car

Senator Mattias Cormann has admitted he was behind the decision to change the colour of our government Comcars – which ferry politicians around – from white to dark grey in order to remove any remnants of our colonial past, which in his words were “a better reflection of a modern, forward-looking Australia.” Forget the fact that most government cars were painted black, including Sir Robert Menzies’ Bentley (above). Might have been better to channel the founder of the Liberal Party as inspiration instead some woke nonsense. Or just let the drivers, who need to clean and maintain the vehicles, choose. 

Seriously though, what % of Australians have ever thought that our white Comcars harked to a colonial past? Best put it to a plebiscite and waste more time. 

Dark Grey? Isn’t that a gloomy hue? Should Aussies prepare for dark days ahead? Truth be told the colour is probably quite representative of where our economy is heading, even without coronavirus.

Interestingly, according to car insurer youi,

Our accident frequency research reveals that dark coloured cars are more likely to be in an accident than lighter coloured cars, likely because they are less visible to other drivers on the road. Grey coloured cars topped the list, followed by black and charcoal.

Who says that politicians don’t make sacrifices for us?

If we study where the proportion of cars coloured in colonial white is highest, perhaps parliament should be spending up big on a reeducation program in Tasmania for their unconscious colonialism. youi claimed,

Tasmania has the highest percentage of white cars at 33.80% versus the national average of 30.45% (silver 19.4%, blue 11.29%)

White cars seem to be connected to toxic masculinity too. Best run a campaign on unconscious sexism if youi is to be believed.

Compared to females, white is more popular for males relative to other colours (34.34% for males, 26.46% for females)

Take it a step further and question how much more Cormann could have done to reduce the racist footprints of colonialism.

Why are we buying cars from a maker that powered the Nazi Luftwaffe, SS and Wehrmacht, based in a nation that at the time was hell-bent on world domination and genocide? If we went for Lexus or Toyota we’d be buying cars built by a country that was also determined to colonize The Pacific. Jaguars or Range Rovers would be off the list, even though the Indians now own the brands. Rolls-Royce & Bentley are German-owned. Italians were colonialists. Maserati, Fiat, Lancia and Alfa Romeo banned. The French? Colonialists. Renault and Peugeot-Citroen are out. The Spanish? Colonialists. No SEATs, although that is owned by the Germans. America? Someone is bound to raise an issue with their CIA operative endorsed post-war military hegemony. So no Caddies, Fords or GM cars, especially after the axing of the Holden brand. China? Buying Haval or Great Wall cars would at the very least cut down on the overall cost of Comcars, especially with the generous 10-yr unlimited kilometre extended warranty.  That is how we cut the budget deficit. 

Maybe we should just buy Volvos. Maybe that way we could appeal to be supporting the home team of climate activist, Greta Thunberg to shore up the youth vote while acknowledging that the Viking hordes of 1000 years ago was far back enough in history to upset anyone today. If we’re lucky, the Swedish Riksbank may consider buying our sovereign debt again

Seriously, haven’t our pollies got anything better to do than conjure up such illogical nonsense like this? Given we’re at this level of discourse, perhaps walking, cycling or public transport would be a better bet for our lawmakers. At the very least it would put them in touch with how commoners live.

CM unreservedly apologises to teenagers, mutants, ninjas & turtles

Image result for time magazine brown face

CM unreservedly apologises to all teenagers, mutants, ninjas and turtles for wearing a TMNT costume 28 years ago. CM hopes no one was offended by pretending to be 19 when I was actually 20 at the time. It was inappropriate and CM deeply regrets the use of the word “Cowabunga, dudes” when referring to Amanda and Claire outside the ANU Refectory.

For the record, CM cannot stand Justin Trudeau on so many levels. From the use of the word, ‘people kind‘ to cardboard cutouts of himself sent to Canadian embassies around the world. The worst of all has been his meddling in the SNC Lavalin affair of which he was found guilty.

However, the liberal media meltdown over Justin Trudeau for wearing brown face at an Arabian Nights costume party in 2001 is taking faux outrage to new levels. Isn’t the point of “fancy dress” to look as close as possible to the character one is trying to mimic? The journalists talking about “regret”. Could they be any more pathetic?

Remember the poor kid who idolized Nic Naitanui, (a coloured AFL player) so much so he went to great lengths to look identical to his hero? All she was doing was trying to pretend to be the man she clearly looked up to. There was no hint of racism to be found yet the mob descended to pillory the poor lass. Nic even tweeted that he was touched by the gesture before the Twitterati bullied him into suggesting he needed to be educated about his own culture. Surely the litmus test is that if he wasn’t offended, why should anyone else be?

In 2019, basically, everything is off-limits. Lots of terrible things happened decades ago. However, to push hard in the oppression olympics seems all that matters these days. The effort to achieve the gold medal in victimhood is something to aspire to.

As much as CM can not stand Trudeau, his actions were unlikely at any time to be insensitive, racially motivated or intentionally hurtful. So for once Justin, you should just tell people to get a life.

If any person of any colour makes fun of CM as a white man with a receding hairline, slightly bulging waistline and poor dress sense, CM will not be in the least bit offended. CM, if instructed by the Twitterati, will issue an unconditional apology for decades of white privilege and express deep regret over the trauma caused by people who lived 100 years before CM was born and has no relation.

Maybe the best way to sort out the faux outrage mob is to demand that their past of 20 years ago is brought up and blasted around the world. Jonathan Pie summed up the oppression obsession best here.

TDS using Obama-era pictures

Hollywood is home of the champagne socialist hypocrites. Nancy Lee Grahn went on a rampage disparaging the Trump administration’s treatment of children on the border. She claimed that it was torture to make them sleep on the cement floor under emergency blankets with the lights left on.

Her tweet was as follows:

Sadly she used pictures from 2015. Merely cropped out the date hoping no one would notice. Sadly Twitter is a veritable minefield.

Best get facts right before emotional pleas based on a wish that it occurred under the administration she hates so much.