The Professional Golfers Association (PGA) of America has decided to sever ties with President Donald Trump after voting to take the PGA Championship event from his Bedminster, New Jersey golf course, Trump National in 2022.
PGA CEO Seth Waugh said, “We find ourselves in a political situation not of our making…We’re fiduciaries for our members, for the game, for our mission and for our brand. And how do we best protect that? Our feeling was given the tragic events of Wednesday that we could no longer hold it at Bedminster. The damage could have been irreparable. The only real course of action was to leave.”
Unconfirmed sources say that the front runner to replace the 2022 event could be the Pyongyang Golf Course in North Korea.
The PGA is believed to have received tacit approval from Big Tech companies to move forward with the event only if Kim Jong-un promises not to invite Trump as his guest. The rationale is believed to be because Kim is Trump’s last friend on earth. Being snubbed by the North Korean dictator is understood to be the best way for the PGA to get the maximum woke points necessary to prove they’ve moved heaven and earth to appease the cancel culture mob and protect their brand.
Kim was reported to have told CEO Waugh, “how can you humiliate Trump if he is no longer able to get my tweets?” Sources close to Twitter have confirmed that Jack Dorsey is considering reinstating Trump’s account for 6 hours as an act of compassion and to show conservatives that the platform is an advocate for free speech.
A senior Antifa spokesman, Lance Brick, said that he was surprised to hear of the PGA move as none of his members play golf. Brick said, “Look, none of us really like golf so the PGA was never on our radar. Thanks to the CEO’s public statement we have realised we didn’t know what we didn’t know. After an emergency plenary session, we have decided to refocus our energies on looting golf pro shops and demanding the PGA reveal which golf courses are steeped in the white patriarchy and burn those clubhouses to the ground, lest we turn our rage on them.”
Acolytes in the mainstream media have reportedly welcomed the discussions, noting potential offsite opportunities with North Korean state media to improve their delivery back at home.