#babylonbee

Truth

Babylon Bee takes a potshot at the 180-degree swing in mainstream media questions to the new WH Press Secretary.

The Bee wrote,

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a brutal press conference this morning, courageous journalists asked hard-hitting questions of the incoming administration. In one particularly tense exchange, Press Secretary Jen Psaki was forced to reveal President Biden’s favorite Disney Princess.”

“Please, Miss Press Secretary, Please! Please!” asked CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins. “We need to know President Biden’s favorite Disney princess! Is it Belle? Or maybe Jasmine?” she said while waving her hand and jumping up and down. 

“Wow, what a fantastic question,” responded Psaki. “I haven’t asked the President that, so I will have to get back to you. Whoever it is, I’m sure his favorite is an empowered woman of color.” 

Undeterred, the press pool continued to follow up on the question, demanding a clearer answer. 

“OK, fine,” responded a slightly frustrated Psaki, “It’s Moana. His favorite is Moana.”

“NO IT’S NOT!!” came a muffled voice from behind the curtain that sounded a lot like Joe Biden. “My favorite is that one with all the hair! Rappatootie! Rattatatpunzle! Refunzle! Whatever her name is! Hey! Let go of me! Where are you taking me?”

Election Bee

From the Babylon Bee:

“Business owners in Democrat-controlled cities are boarding up in preparation for an onslaught of mostly peaceful demonstrations should Trump win the election Tuesday.

The real concern is that the party of love and tolerance loses the election.

“We just want to make sure our businesses will be safe from the sudden outpouring of peace, love, and tolerance,” said one frightened business owner in Los Angeles as he frantically boarded up his hookah lounge. “You know, too much peace can sometimes intensify and end up destroying millions of dollars of property. You know, from all the peace.”

“Can’t be too careful when there’s roaming bands of people spreading peace.”

Many business owners are even arming themselves with firearms to protect themselves from all the peace.”

Babylon Bee Twitter account suspended

As ever with the far left dictators in Sillycon Valley, even parody is considered subversive.

Babylon Bee took to writing the following letter informing readers of the ridiculous suspension. Twitter reinstated the account after claiming an all too common ‘mistake’.

Time for social media giants to lose their legal protection. If they are going to shut down comedy, they are exercising editorial control which means they deserve to be treated like any other media company.

Readers of The Bee,

In case you hadn’t heard, Twitter suspended our account yesterday. In an email to us, they claimed we violated their rules against “platform manipulation and spam.” The email included a warning that that if we tried to open another account, that new account would be suspended, too.

We published screenshots of the email and our suspended Twitter page, and called on our followers to make some noise. We started trending almost immediately and Twitter responded by reinstating us, saying we’d been suspended “by mistake.” So we’re back on Twitter, at least for the time being. But we share the concerns of others who’ve rightly observed that these “mistakes” tend to work in one direction.

We’re grateful to have followers who aren’t afraid to speak up and hold these big tech companies accountable. But there are no guarantees. We couldn’t be sure they’d reinstate our account. And we can’t know if they will the next time they make a “mistake.” But we can do our best to prepare for a worst-case scenario. At least we can if we have your help.

When we first launched our subscription service, the primary reason we gave for supporting us was to help us become less dependent on big tech companies. We explained:

We depend on Facebook and Twitter to drive traffic, and Google Ads to monetize it. Without these networks, we’d have no revenue to cover our expenses. And as you’re probably aware, none of these companies are friendly to Christians or conservatives. In fact, that’s a severe understatement. The control these companies exercise—and the outright hostility they display toward those with more traditional views and values—has us deeply concerned about our future as a publisher of Christian satire. But here’s the thing: If just a small fraction of our readers become paid subscribers, we’d have enough funding to survive without running ads, effectively eliminating our dependence on these big tech companies.

The more subscribers we have, the less we have to worry about our dependence on Twitter and the other big tech companies. So I’ll close with the same call to action you might have heard from us before: If you value The Babylon Bee and want to see us prevail against Twitter and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support will make a difference.

From our whole team, thank you for your loyal readership and support.

Seth Dillon

CEO

Babylon Bee’s guide to the news cycle

Never a truer word than said in jest.

Brutal Babylon Bee on Kamala Harris

From the Babylon Bee:

U.S.—Supporters of Kamala Harris have been eagerly awaiting an announcement on who her VP pick will be when she takes over as president approximately 5 minutes after Joe Biden is inaugurated. According to sources close to the campaign, she is already vetting possible candidates for the job. 

“I am proud to announce I will soon be announcing my pick for Vice President of the United States,” said Harris. “We have searched all across this great land. While I cannot yet confirm who my pick will be, I can say this: my pick for VP will be even MORE of a woman and even MORE of color than I am. It will be the most colorful and womanly team ever!” She then threw her head back and cackled maniacally.

Joe Biden was also thrilled to hear the news that he would be getting not just one, but two female vice presidents.

The VP search has stalled since it has proven difficult to find a woman of color who survived both Kamala Harris’ pro-abortion policies as well as her aggressive imprisonment of minorities. In a statement, the campaign also promised to announce a pick while all The Babylon Bee writers are sleeping so they won’t have a chance to write a funny headline about it.

Abolish the Police? – White Liberal vs Black perspectives

Ami Horowitz made an interesting video about the age-old problem of white liberals speaking on behalf of people that they don’t understand, much less consulted. Recall the Babylon Bee parody on this very topic just this week.

As Thomas Sowell correctly pointed out,

Activism is a way for useless people to feel important, even if the consequences of their activism are counterproductive for those they claim to be helping and damaging to the fabric of society as a whole.

Truth in fiction

Babylon Bee strikes again.

“MENLO PARK, CA—A new nonprofit organization is teaming up with app developers to help people of colour find and adopt white liberals to speak for them. The program is called Adopt A Voice and will help people of black and brown descent express what they truly desire, think, and mean to say.

I signed up for it,” said African American Bradley Trent from Columbus, Ohio. “They paired me up with a 37-year-old white girl named Claire who claims to be bisexual but as far as I can tell she just really likes cats.

When asked what his opinion of the program was, Claire responded on Bradley’s behalf, “Bradley is just so grateful to have his voice heard especially on key issues like women’s right to choose, climate change, and especially trans issues.”

Bradley later commented, “I had no idea that’s what I meant to say. Amazing.

At Adopt a Voice we know that speaking and thinking for yourself can be challenging. We have a huge team of interpreters who know exactly what ethnic minorities are really thinking, what they really want, and what they really mean to say,” said program director Eve Zohar. “We know that every person of colour will thank us for what we say on their behalf, and if they don’t they hate themselves.”